FUGS/agar tum miljao, zamana chor dein gein hum.

My school year is almost over and i'm having serious problems letting go. As was indicative from my MSN name, McMaster and me share a love divine; and I really, don't wanna let go. This is of course, assuming that i'm not coming back. I am as of right now, planning to (iA) start in the Optometry course in the University of Manchester, UK in September.

There is a possibility that I will be back. It's a possibility however, that I desperately want to avoid because of what I've invested in other things.

I was to be doing an army post continuing the de-flowering bit I started but my heart just aint down with that right now.

My problem is a problem of attachment: I don't want anything to change. I wanna live in my basement. I wanna go to MAC. I wanna keep my friends. I don't wanna leave Hamilton. I don't wanna leave Toronto. I don't wanna advance in age. I love my world. I love getting up late. I love skipping class. I love my mp3s. I love balling and lifting. I love my online people. I love photoshoping/webdesigning. I love reading everything in sight. I love doing ungodly things at ungodly hours of the day with the people I call my friends. I love everything about my life and I don't want any of it to change.

This is a reflection of thankfulness to my Lord. Up to this point in my life, I've gotten everything in life that I would ever have hoped for. I am gifted, blessed and privileged to be who I am where I am with the people that I am with. I often think that were I to ever enter paradise, I might just ask them for the simple wish of living my life all over again.

This is the result of diligent work. That of carving memories, and attachments that I consciously chose to bring close to me. It was my favourite of hobby to complain of my lack of real childhood memories and how my comfort lay in things past and untouchable. I unconsciously invested in something that I now will never forget. I will remember everything about living on 21 Sanford, 134 Terni, going in jamaat, my wonderful MSA, all my friends and everything that I touched and was touched by in this period that I will call the best time of my life.

Comments

Sal said…
i think im gonna cry.

no seriously.
Aishah said…
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Aishah said…
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Aishah said…
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Aishah said…
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TBD said…
It'll make you into a better man. If it dont kill you, it make you stronger, etc.

Good luck in life and keep up the Praise.
Anonymous said…
Yes, but its pronounce 'Manchistaaah!


yeh?
PLOPS said…
haha...optometrys crap...ur gna hate it...


(jk)
Lamoni said…
good post, man. but its okay. look at it this way. ive had to leave behind my life several times and it has been heartwrenching and difficult to deal with. but when you look back at it all you realize that it was the best thing that could have happened to you. look at the silver lining of everything in your life.

ps - please translate that urdu/punjabi/mostdefnotbengali line you started your post with. thanks.
Not Zahra. said…
Assalamu alaykum

Now imagine if you were told that you couldn't go to Manchester, or that you weren't allowed to do so. (that way it might become more apparant that life IS good right now, but you'll get to relive the uni era all over again, but in a new enivornment with new people.)

wassalam
Anonymous said…
Oh you. :faint:
Anonymous said…
that was one heart wrenching and tear jerking blog entry!!

too many people are leaving mac this year...3 years flew by so fast and things won't be the same with a lot of the old crew gone next year! :(

change is good, for many obvious reasons..but i think id hafta agree. just right now. if everything were to remain the same, that would be just fine.
Asi said…
wooooooooooot?

You're coming to Mancs????

I love the way you write Goldi. :thumbsup:

Don't think of it as an end think of it as a new beginning. Don't think of it as a love lost but a love that will be cherished. And don't think of the change as letting go but think of it as holding on to the memories that have found their way into your heart.

:halal hugs all around:
TR-909 said…
thank you all for your kind responses. i really wasnt expecting this.

i just got up early one morning and starting typing. this transpired.
Anonymous said…
Good luck with Optometry inshallah. I'm about to graduate soon too, God willing. It's even harder for me to let go. I loved my program, the downtown campus, and my tight knit circle of friends. I'll be off to an uncertain future soon, leaving all that behind, along with the four year comfort zone I had. So you definitely have my sympathies.
AP said…
Asi: are halal hugs those awkward ones between a guy and girl who claim to 'just friends' and they try to maintain about 3ft of distance between themselves while hugging? that's so lame.

hugs are best served haram.

Fahad: I'm sure you'll make an excellent visual arts teacher teaching his students from an Islamic perspective.

'As can be seen in this piece 'Brothers Doing Gusht' soft strokes and pastel hues in the piece indicate the noor descending. In contrast, this piece, 'Murtad's Going Clubbing' is filled with dark heavy strokes - indicating the overwhelming presence of Shaytaan.'
foozball said…
I just went and visited my old campus this weekend, after two years. There was a huge award ceremony so all my old peeps were there (mostly faculty, staff, and admins) but it was unreal being in that environment again. Alh, i feel so secure and confident there. for a few hours i felt like a celebrity again. everything seemed familiar. everything seemed to make sense.

uni was the one place where i felt like i was on top of the world and nothing but good was ahead.

ah, those days. how silly i was.
Zehra said…
*cries*
wow wow wow.
Anonymous said…
p.s. i'm not feeling that George Michael song. Tis no Michael Buble. Plus George is a gay icon, in case you didn't know.
AP said…
Fahad: I can't believe you didn't have anything to say about the comment I made regarding your future career.

Speaking along those lines, yesterday we could have taken a picture of oursevles and called it 'The Demise of Mudasser, AP's and Usama's Taqwa on Gerrard St. E.'
Anonymous said…
that was a most excellent post

i can totally relate to that post man, that's how i felt when i was leaving high school

fortunately for me, in university i don't really have many friends that i spend a lot of time with ...

i'm going to go cry myself to sleep now
Asi said…
AP> LOL. No no, my halal hugs are proper hugs but yeh just friendly ones.

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