Conversations with Arif Patel. enjoy.
AP: and another thing
AP: you said something about my shoes
AP: "are you trying to impress the bangladeshi fobs?"
AP: what was that supposed to mean?
AP: just now i got so carried away with the 'Sash! - Together Again'
AP: that i turned it up a notch too high
AP: i was interrupted by an: Arif are you listening to music?
AP: today in physics ii, the prof says something about how the animation helps people to understand the concept easier, he said that to this girl, in a nice joking way
AP: the cocky bitch replies, i didn't need the animations to help understand
AP: what a fuck off
AP: but the prof is too nice a guy to say anything mean back
AP: then some guy asks why we use a polar plane (is that what its called?) instead of the regular one
AP: and he goes, its not called the regular one, its called a cartesian plane
AP: and the cocky bitch laughed at that
AP: next time she says something wrong
Me: im going to laught so hard at her...
AP: guess who i met yesterday and chilled with for an hour?
AP: none other than abdullah
Me: WHAT? WHERE? Ryerson?
AP: madina masjid on danforth
Me: oh
AP: well on danforth itself
Me: hes my idol
AP: so we went and had some pizza, and then he took me to this place where he was living
AP: and basically there's 12 converts living in that one house, all people like him
AP: and i met 2 of the guys there
Me: how big is the house?
Me: is it cramped?
AP: 12 people in a typical danforth home
AP: yeah of course its cramped
AP: its hardcore man, but it was very neat and clean
Me: how are they managing?
AP: i didn't ask them for a financial report man
AP: "so what sort of earnings did you guys report this fiscal year?"
(on buying a sword)
AP: i'd buy it right now
AP: man check this one out, its so perfect to carry around in your backpack
AP: nobody would know what it is, and if jerome or tyrone decides he likes your shoes, you can retaliate
AP: any man who says all conflicts can be resolved with pussy talks is a man who been relagated to the hamster category
AP: let me give you a brief synopsis of the evolution of music in arif's life
AP: in the beginning,
AP: arif used to live in india, and he'd listen to music on the stereo his grandfather (mother's side) brought from saudi arabia
AP: cassette's
AP: then he came to canada, and things were so tough, he didn't even have a stereo, so he would ocassionaly tune into random radio stations on his alarm clock
AP: 1994 is where we're at
AP: then 1997 rolls around
AP: and this is the biggest and most revolutionary period in his lfie
AP: his obsession with music reaches an unprecedented level
AP: his millionaire uncle gave him a beautiful quality Sharp boom-box type stereo
AP: cd-player, daul cassette deck, am/fm stero
AP: what more could a poor immigrant boy want?
Me: porn?
AP: and it was then that he discovered radio stations like 104.5 chumfm, 103.5, power 88.5 etc.
Me: energy 108
AP: yes yes ofcourse
AP: energy 107.9 actually he discovered
AP: anyways he'd go to the dollar store and buy blank cassettes, he bought himself a 90 minute JVC tape
AP: and he'd wait until his favourite songs came on
AP: he'd wait for it, so as soon as it came on, he'd hit record and start recording
AP: amazingly, he built up an incredible collection of recorded songs of the radio in this fashion, all complete
AP: it took a lot of patience
AP: anyways one day he went to his grandmother's house, and his mother put tape over the cassette
AP: when he returned, he attempted to remove the tape, and in his haste, it ripped the little bronw strip inside
AP: heart broekn, he never really was able to make another similar collection
AP: it was then that he moved to his new home
AP: in the moving process, the boombox broke
AP: and so for many year until he got pc, there was no music
AP: then came the pc, and the subsequent free internet (dial up)
AP: and then came Napster
AP: kerpal and celine dion were names to be found on his playlist
AP: from those days, tracks such as everclear - wonderful originate
AP:(do you have everclear?)
Me: no
AP: arif also fell in love around this time, but that's a story for another day
AP: moving on
AP: well he went to jamaat the following summer
AP: and returned to delete all his files and broke his burned cd's
AP: (arif has yet to buy a music cd)
AP: anyways
AP: things went like this for a long time
AP: build up the library
AP: come back form jamaat and delete it
AP: let me tell you, compiling an mp3 library with dial up is pretty tough
AP: anyways well thing carried on like this
AP: and then the pc broke down
AP: so things were in a lull,
AP: and then, i got the dell
AP: and high speed
AP: this winter
AP: oh man oh man
AP: it was reminiscent of the old days when i first got my boom box
AP: music reached a new level in my life
AP: the library reached enormous proportions
AP: and well, the next milestone was when he decided instead of deleting a certain "Goldi - @mee_1AH" he'd talk to him one last time before deleting
AP: well, that sparked a whole new friendship
AP: it so happened goldi was a real man, not just an online msn ID
AP: and that's where things are at right now
AP: man, satellite imaging sure is cool
AP: i guess you can take pictures of nude beaches and blow them up
AP: and study the sand
AP: and other features of the shore erosion
Me: CLEAVAGE!
AP: oh yes and of course, check out the cleavage
AP: and your hair looks very nice now
AP: well the way i saw it at your house when i came
AP: i can only imagine what sort of "aesthetically pleasing" monstrosity it was before
AP: get this
AP: one of my beloved asians
AP: has on her sn, got to give up msn addiction, so righ tnow
AP: i've started bullshitting hardcore to her
AP: anything i say, they believe right away
AP: so i told her there's an msn patch
AP: is alleviates the neuro-chemical dependency you develop for it
AP: and its made by this american pharmaceuticals corp
AP: and now she wants to know where she can buy it
AP: so i said, contact their canadain subsidiary, apotech pharamaceuticals corp (which is a real company)
AP: i just want to see her reaction when she tells me tomorrow the nice man at apotech didn't know wtf she was talking about
AP: and now she's like, why don't i just delete it, so i said to her, its like throwing a cocaine addict into a room and locking them in without cocaine, that's why they give drugs to addicts in prison now, you have to ease the body out of the addiction
AP: man i love these asians
AP: do you think i should tell her i'm just shitting her about the patch
AP: (me: hey i was just joking about the patch thing, it doesn't really exist, don't go around calling up Apotex
azn: obviously not
me: "hi mr. apotex man, my friend arif said i can get an msn patch from your parent corporation"..""arif patel again eh? someone's got to teach that paki a lesson, he's gone too far this time"..""don't you worry ping pong, the apotex team is on this case we'll take ...
AP: of that arif patel, we'll feed him awful tasting cough syrup until he begs for mercy..."
AP: "my name isn't ping pong, its julia"..""yes, i'm sure it is"
AP: what are those nike baller id's?
Me: ebay them
AP: wtf is that?
AP: rubber bands? costing more than a ticket to a film festival
Me: theyre molded, and they're to put on ure wrist
AP: do they serve any purpose?
AP: other than portray one as a savvy nigger?
AP: your brother is normal and cool
AP: he doesn't dig things like this
AP: i feel i need to fill that void in my life with these sort of things
AP: i read auto reviews by renown auto journalists, on a daily basis
AP: i read through my textbooks
AP: and i polish my movado
AP: man, i finally understand why you don't like Givenchy Pi
AP: there's a major difference in the bottles
AP: i gave some to asif today
AP: and his smelled amazing
AP: i've got some Pi soap and aftershave balm, and they both smell amazing
AP: but that got me thinking
AP: and i tried my Pi cologne
AP: and i realized, my cologne smells like shit
AP: man, i bought this from a black man, i should've known
AP: even asif noticed
AP: he goes this is way better than the other bottles, i can still smell it
AP: and when the nice muslim fragrance man at bay sprayed some on me, thats how i got hooked on Pi
AP: tomorrow i'm going to Eaton centre and buying some full priced Pi
AP: Maybe because i leave my Pi on my desk, and its right in front of a window that runs the length of the room
AP: the sunlight may have changed the chemical composition
AP: man this is very bad news, i'm going to cry myself to sleep
AP: salaams
(at not doing so well at darts)
AP: I don't throw things much.
AP: and another thing
AP: you said something about my shoes
AP: "are you trying to impress the bangladeshi fobs?"
AP: what was that supposed to mean?
AP: just now i got so carried away with the 'Sash! - Together Again'
AP: that i turned it up a notch too high
AP: i was interrupted by an: Arif are you listening to music?
AP: today in physics ii, the prof says something about how the animation helps people to understand the concept easier, he said that to this girl, in a nice joking way
AP: the cocky bitch replies, i didn't need the animations to help understand
AP: what a fuck off
AP: but the prof is too nice a guy to say anything mean back
AP: then some guy asks why we use a polar plane (is that what its called?) instead of the regular one
AP: and he goes, its not called the regular one, its called a cartesian plane
AP: and the cocky bitch laughed at that
AP: next time she says something wrong
Me: im going to laught so hard at her...
AP: guess who i met yesterday and chilled with for an hour?
AP: none other than abdullah
Me: WHAT? WHERE? Ryerson?
AP: madina masjid on danforth
Me: oh
AP: well on danforth itself
Me: hes my idol
AP: so we went and had some pizza, and then he took me to this place where he was living
AP: and basically there's 12 converts living in that one house, all people like him
AP: and i met 2 of the guys there
Me: how big is the house?
Me: is it cramped?
AP: 12 people in a typical danforth home
AP: yeah of course its cramped
AP: its hardcore man, but it was very neat and clean
Me: how are they managing?
AP: i didn't ask them for a financial report man
AP: "so what sort of earnings did you guys report this fiscal year?"
(on buying a sword)
AP: i'd buy it right now
AP: man check this one out, its so perfect to carry around in your backpack
AP: nobody would know what it is, and if jerome or tyrone decides he likes your shoes, you can retaliate
AP: any man who says all conflicts can be resolved with pussy talks is a man who been relagated to the hamster category
AP: let me give you a brief synopsis of the evolution of music in arif's life
AP: in the beginning,
AP: arif used to live in india, and he'd listen to music on the stereo his grandfather (mother's side) brought from saudi arabia
AP: cassette's
AP: then he came to canada, and things were so tough, he didn't even have a stereo, so he would ocassionaly tune into random radio stations on his alarm clock
AP: 1994 is where we're at
AP: then 1997 rolls around
AP: and this is the biggest and most revolutionary period in his lfie
AP: his obsession with music reaches an unprecedented level
AP: his millionaire uncle gave him a beautiful quality Sharp boom-box type stereo
AP: cd-player, daul cassette deck, am/fm stero
AP: what more could a poor immigrant boy want?
Me: porn?
AP: and it was then that he discovered radio stations like 104.5 chumfm, 103.5, power 88.5 etc.
Me: energy 108
AP: yes yes ofcourse
AP: energy 107.9 actually he discovered
AP: anyways he'd go to the dollar store and buy blank cassettes, he bought himself a 90 minute JVC tape
AP: and he'd wait until his favourite songs came on
AP: he'd wait for it, so as soon as it came on, he'd hit record and start recording
AP: amazingly, he built up an incredible collection of recorded songs of the radio in this fashion, all complete
AP: it took a lot of patience
AP: anyways one day he went to his grandmother's house, and his mother put tape over the cassette
AP: when he returned, he attempted to remove the tape, and in his haste, it ripped the little bronw strip inside
AP: heart broekn, he never really was able to make another similar collection
AP: it was then that he moved to his new home
AP: in the moving process, the boombox broke
AP: and so for many year until he got pc, there was no music
AP: then came the pc, and the subsequent free internet (dial up)
AP: and then came Napster
AP: kerpal and celine dion were names to be found on his playlist
AP: from those days, tracks such as everclear - wonderful originate
AP:(do you have everclear?)
Me: no
AP: arif also fell in love around this time, but that's a story for another day
AP: moving on
AP: well he went to jamaat the following summer
AP: and returned to delete all his files and broke his burned cd's
AP: (arif has yet to buy a music cd)
AP: anyways
AP: things went like this for a long time
AP: build up the library
AP: come back form jamaat and delete it
AP: let me tell you, compiling an mp3 library with dial up is pretty tough
AP: anyways well thing carried on like this
AP: and then the pc broke down
AP: so things were in a lull,
AP: and then, i got the dell
AP: and high speed
AP: this winter
AP: oh man oh man
AP: it was reminiscent of the old days when i first got my boom box
AP: music reached a new level in my life
AP: the library reached enormous proportions
AP: and well, the next milestone was when he decided instead of deleting a certain "Goldi - @mee_1AH" he'd talk to him one last time before deleting
AP: well, that sparked a whole new friendship
AP: it so happened goldi was a real man, not just an online msn ID
AP: and that's where things are at right now
AP: man, satellite imaging sure is cool
AP: i guess you can take pictures of nude beaches and blow them up
AP: and study the sand
AP: and other features of the shore erosion
Me: CLEAVAGE!
AP: oh yes and of course, check out the cleavage
AP: and your hair looks very nice now
AP: well the way i saw it at your house when i came
AP: i can only imagine what sort of "aesthetically pleasing" monstrosity it was before
AP: get this
AP: one of my beloved asians
AP: has on her sn, got to give up msn addiction, so righ tnow
AP: i've started bullshitting hardcore to her
AP: anything i say, they believe right away
AP: so i told her there's an msn patch
AP: is alleviates the neuro-chemical dependency you develop for it
AP: and its made by this american pharmaceuticals corp
AP: and now she wants to know where she can buy it
AP: so i said, contact their canadain subsidiary, apotech pharamaceuticals corp (which is a real company)
AP: i just want to see her reaction when she tells me tomorrow the nice man at apotech didn't know wtf she was talking about
AP: and now she's like, why don't i just delete it, so i said to her, its like throwing a cocaine addict into a room and locking them in without cocaine, that's why they give drugs to addicts in prison now, you have to ease the body out of the addiction
AP: man i love these asians
AP: do you think i should tell her i'm just shitting her about the patch
AP: (me: hey i was just joking about the patch thing, it doesn't really exist, don't go around calling up Apotex
azn: obviously not
me: "hi mr. apotex man, my friend arif said i can get an msn patch from your parent corporation"..""arif patel again eh? someone's got to teach that paki a lesson, he's gone too far this time"..""don't you worry ping pong, the apotex team is on this case we'll take ...
AP: of that arif patel, we'll feed him awful tasting cough syrup until he begs for mercy..."
AP: "my name isn't ping pong, its julia"..""yes, i'm sure it is"
AP: what are those nike baller id's?
Me: ebay them
AP: wtf is that?
AP: rubber bands? costing more than a ticket to a film festival
Me: theyre molded, and they're to put on ure wrist
AP: do they serve any purpose?
AP: other than portray one as a savvy nigger?
AP: your brother is normal and cool
AP: he doesn't dig things like this
AP: i feel i need to fill that void in my life with these sort of things
AP: i read auto reviews by renown auto journalists, on a daily basis
AP: i read through my textbooks
AP: and i polish my movado
AP: man, i finally understand why you don't like Givenchy Pi
AP: there's a major difference in the bottles
AP: i gave some to asif today
AP: and his smelled amazing
AP: i've got some Pi soap and aftershave balm, and they both smell amazing
AP: but that got me thinking
AP: and i tried my Pi cologne
AP: and i realized, my cologne smells like shit
AP: man, i bought this from a black man, i should've known
AP: even asif noticed
AP: he goes this is way better than the other bottles, i can still smell it
AP: and when the nice muslim fragrance man at bay sprayed some on me, thats how i got hooked on Pi
AP: tomorrow i'm going to Eaton centre and buying some full priced Pi
AP: Maybe because i leave my Pi on my desk, and its right in front of a window that runs the length of the room
AP: the sunlight may have changed the chemical composition
AP: man this is very bad news, i'm going to cry myself to sleep
AP: salaams
(at not doing so well at darts)
AP: I don't throw things much.
.jpg)
.jpg)
Comments